Ron Weasley & The Super Car
by The Neptunes
Summary: Oneshot. Ron is left in his girlfriend's car while she goes shopping. One problem; it's no ordinary car. OOC


A/N: Ok, this is a random fic. I dreamed up after I asked my dad what the letters on the gear shift meant. I hope you enjoy!

Ronald Weasley & the Super Car

Ron Weasley was, at the moment, sitting in Hermione's new car waiting for her to return from window shopping.

"Chicks, muggle or witch, the moment they step into the store it's all ' OMG I _have_ to get that top!'"

Being a 'macho man' --even though he barely had any muscle-- as Ron put it, he would stay in the car and wait.

"Wonder what this does." said Ron as he stared at a piece of the muggle, metal, death trap. "P....D....R....1....2... T....SC" Being a courageous Gryffindor, Ron put the gear shift in SC.

All at once, the car sprang to life.

"Welcome, Agent" said a disembodied female voice.

"Merlin's great, hairy balls IT SPEAKS!"

As Ron pulled out his wand, he accidentally made the gear shift go into T.

"Turbo charge, engaged" it said. Suddenly, the 'car's' engine roared to life.

"What the...HEY!"

Ron desperately tried to get out of the car. (Last time he was in a alive car, was in second year with Harry. Ron almost got himself, and the Boy-Who-Lived, killed) when he managed to get his foot out of it, the 'car' lunged forward, almost cutting Ron's leg off.

The car automatically reversed out of the parking lot and made its way onto the street. Ron, on the the other hand, had gotten back into the car, put his hands over his eyes, and kept muttering

"It's a dream just a dream. It's a dream just a dream."

Ron plucked up enough courage and peeked thorugh his fingers.

"AHHH!!! LOOK OUT FOR THAT TRUCK!!! LEFT !!!!! TURN LEFT!!!!!"

Ron started screaming orders, like

"RIGHT, NO, THE OTHER RIGHT!!" or, "THE DOG LOOK OUT FOR THE DOG!!"

"Oral driving engaged" said the car. After a while Ron's voice became horse, for all the screaming.

"FOR MERLINS SAKE TAKE ME BACK TO THE PARKING LOT" Ron half sobbed. And just like that, the made a spectacular turn and headed back to the mall's parking lot.

Just in the nick of time, the muggle death contraption, made it to the parking lot right when Hermione emerged wearing a _very_ short, peach, mini skirt and a sleeveless, hot pink, shirt

Ron's eyes were popping out of his head, and he couldn't help but drool.

"Ron! **Stop** staring, and _drooling, _and help me with my bags" Hermione said, half furious, half flirtatious. Hermione even giggled when Ron wiped the drool off his mouth and turned a shade of crimson.

"Hi.i.i... Hermione.... um... how are your things?...I mean! Um.. How are YOU and how are things.. heh heh heh" Ron had changed from crimson to scarlet, about half way through that sentence.

"First of all, um Ron, look up at my_ face _when you talk to me," Clearly embarresed Ron lifted his gaze. "And second, I'm fine."

"Yes, yes you are" Ron murmured, while trailing Hermione.

Hermione went to pick up the bags. With her back faced to Ron, Hermione bent down to pick up the bags.

_'Just bend down a little further' _He thought, looking at her.... well you know.

"Stupfy"

The next thing Ron knew, he was on the floor looking up at Hermione's smug face.

"_Enervate, _you honestly believe I would let you do that." She said in a giggle.

As they headed towards the car Ron suddenly remembered his 'incident' with the car.

"Hermione! Don't get into the car!" Ron yelled, as he made a running leap to tackle her.

Unfortunately, Ron didn't think of the angle he was at, and ended up with Hermione and him sprawled on the two front seats, with Hermione under him. To their surprise the door slammed shut and the voice came back

."Romantic Settings engaged" Out of nowhere, a bottle of wine dropped into Ron's hand, and romantic music started to play.

"Er.. care for a drink?" Ron asked the female underneath him.

"Uhhh, Ron. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CAR!!! And.... what type of wine is it?" she asked a flirtatious smile on her face.

"'Red wine imported from Italy'" Ron answered, shifting his weight to a more comfortable position.

"Lovely," she replied.

THE END

A/N: Like it? Review! Verena


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